


conserver

by andtheny



Series: I am a gazelle [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy is So Done, Number Five | The Boy-centric, POV Number Five | The Boy, Post-Season/Series 02, Psychological Trauma, Stressed Number Five | The Boy, Temporary Character Death, The Sparrow Academy (Umbrella Academy), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28651911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andtheny/pseuds/andtheny
Summary: To conserve is to protect. To conserve is to retain a charted course, a necessary path, to keep things running in the direction they're meant to travel. For the world, for the common good, for those you love.___________________Or, Five uses time travel to preserve his family.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & The Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Series: I am a gazelle [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112021
Comments: 26
Kudos: 115





	conserver

_Each deed you do, each act, binds you to itself and to its consequences, and makes you act again and yet again. Then very seldom do you come upon a space, a time like this, between act and act, when you may stop and simply be. Or wonder who, after all, you are._

_― Ursula K. Le Guin_

The Sparrow Academy had been raised to kill, yet none of them used guns. Five was reminded of that silly line Diego had shouted at bank robbers when they were children: “Guns are for sissies!”

Real men use swords, apparently. 

Five’s first impression of the Sparrow Academy was marred by the chaos of a battle with too many moving parts. There had been birds flying everywhere, ice shards as thick and lethal as blades, and- of course- there were those damn floating swords. 

Five would later wonder if the sword guy’s ability extended beyond his chosen weapon. Did he possess a far ranging telekinesis or was he limited to swords? Perhaps he could only manipulate metal, perhaps only weapons. 

In the end, speculation got them nowhere. Five discarded his curiosity. The Umbrella Academy survived to fight another day. They got away from Reginald and his flock.

And Klaus was hailed as the goddamn antichrist. Or God himself, depending on who you asked. 

The family, Umbrellas no more, became Destiny’s Disciples. The wealth and influence afforded them by Klaus’s zealots (who were _thrilled_ both by his apparent resurrection and by the novelty of a man who, after sixty long years, had not aged a day) was an indispensable shelter.

Weeks went by, but the Sparrows tracked them down. Once, twice, three times. They were hunted like animals. 

“You’ll end the world!” Ben’s doppelganger shouted at them. “You’ll destroy everything if we don’t stop you.” 

Eventually, they decided to leave the country.

What a naive plan, that was. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Vanya’s head toppled from her shoulders as easily and violently as a bird yanking a worm from the ground. Time froze, for a second, as Five watched her body crumple. Her head rolled to a stop by his foot. 

The damn sword, dripping with her blood, flew at Five next. 

But it did not reach him. 

Instead Five _ran_ and the sword ran with him, it ran back towards Vanya’s desecrated body, ran through her neck as her head replaced itself on her shoulders, ran back towards the man- the _filthy_ Sparrow!- who had launched it. 

When Time resumed its forward march, Five grabbed the sword and yanked it from the air. He turned it around and stabbed its owner through the heart. 

He heard a girl scream, but this time it was not Vanya. It was a Sparrow, the ice girl, and she unleashed an avalanche of sharpened icicles towards him that were repelled by Vanya. The two of them seemed to cancel each other out, but Five felt the cold and shuddered with it.

“You good, bro?!” Diego called to him. 

For years Five would resent this concern, the distraction. Why couldn’t Diego keep his eyes on his own damn fight? The Horror, a writhing mass of tentacles, was bleeding and furious. Five could only guess how many times Diego had stabbed it. But the Horror persisted and took advantage of the opening Diego had given it.

Five launched himself at the tentacle that nearly crushed his brother, slicing at it with the stolen sword. 

And Vanya died _again_ while his back was turned. 

The Sparrows must have been instructed to prioritize her elimination, perhaps because she was the most powerful among them. No matter. Five would _not_ let her die. 

He rewinded time a second time. Killed the ice girl. Saved Diego. They were both fine, everyone was fine. 

But there were too many siblings to keep track of. 

He didn’t see it happen, but Klaus was killed on impact. His head cracked open when he fell. 

The worst part?

Klaus had been caught in one of Vanya’s seismic sound waves.

By the time Five put together what had happened, precious minutes had been lost. Could he rewind that far back?

Five gave it a try, but Time fought him. 

He passed out. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Five woke up on the plane. Immediately, he did a head count and noted three missing siblings. 

Vanya, Klaus, and Luther. 

“Are they dead?” 

Sitting across from him on the plush seats of the fancy private plane, Allison and Diego looked as ravaged and disheartened as a pair of war torn refugees. As out of place in this setting as they were in the timeline. 

“Vanya and Luther are still alive,” Allison said, wearily. “I didn’t want to leave them, but they insisted.” 

_“What?_ Why would they-”

“She was shaking up the whole plane,” Diego said. “Couldn’t control herself.” 

“And Luther wouldn’t let her stay by herself,” Allison said. “As soon as-”

“We have to go back,” Five said. “We can’t-”

“You could have _died,_ ” Diego said. “We had to-”

“But _they_ could die!” Five said. “Klaus already-”

“Luther decided we’d be safer if we split up,” Allison said. “He said-”

“Wait.” Five unbuckled his seatbelt and stood to search the overhead compartment. “Where’s the briefcase?” 

The compartment was empty. Why was it empty?!

“The time travel briefcase?” Allison said. 

He scowled. “ _Yes,_ the time travel briefcase! Where the hell-” 

"Calm the fuck down." Diego reached under his seat and pulled out the briefcase. “It’s right here.” 

The plane shook with a brief spell of turbulence. It was enough to unbalance him and Allison reached out to steady him. “Whoa, hey,” she said. “You should sit back down.”

Five did so, but his mind was racing. The briefcase was accounted for, which meant he still had a chance to fix this. But at what point in time should he go? When had it all gone wrong? 

“I know that look,” Diego said. “That’s your scheming face.” 

“I’m going to save him,” Five said. “I just need to figure out _when_.” 

Allison sighed. “Even if you save Klaus from… from that particular fight, we’ll still be in the same position. The Sparrows-”

“Are you saying he shouldn’t do it?!” Diego said, incredulous. 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Allison said. “But I think we need to fix the timeline as a whole, not just-”

“We can’t fix the timeline,” Five said. “Give it up.”

“But-”

“I said _no_ ,” Five said. “Introducing a bunch of doppelgangers into the past will only make this whole mess worse.” 

It was an argument they’d already had, but Five understood her persistence. It was because of Claire. 

The daughter that no longer existed. 

Five avoided Allison’s eyes. “Look, I understand-”

“No, you don’t,” Allison said. “You’ll never understand.” 

Five sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

Diego glared at her. "Klaus is _d-dead!_ We didn't even bury him!"

"I fucking know that!" Allison bit out. "I was _there."_

"You're talking about it like you don't even…"

Five tuned out of their squabble. 

_Now is not the time for anger or grief_ , he thought. _But for planning._

So he planned. And then, he acted. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Five used the briefcase to warn his family against boarding the private plane. He described the Sparrow ambush that awaited them and, together, they tried to come up with a better plan. 

A few hours into this planning, Five was confronted by his doppelganger. “You’ve delivered your message,” the doppelganger said. “So you can go now.” 

This Five was his mirror image in every way and only three days younger. Yet still, Five was surprised by the demand. 

“I can’t leave yet,” Five said. “I need to make sure my family is safe.”

“ _My_ family,” the doppelganger said. “I’ll be the one to make sure of it.” 

“Yes, but-”

“No buts,” the doppelganger said. “You need to leave.” 

The doppelganger was sweating profusely, twitchy as a junkie, and paranoid. Five knew, on an intellectual level, that he was fairing the same. They were both falling victim to Paradox Psychosis. Yet even while knowing this, he wondered what the other Five was scheming. 

“Why are you in such a rush to be rid of me?” Five said. 

“Why are you so insistent on staying?” 

Five glared at his doppelganger and scrutinized their surroundings. The other Five (The _imposter_ , Five thought, even while knowing it was irrational.) had ambushed him in the restroom. At least he’d had the decency to allow Five to carry out his business beforehand, only teleporting into the room as Five was washing his hands. 

With careful nonchalance, Five dried his hands with a towel. 

“We both want the same thing,” Five said. 

“We can’t coexist,” the imposter said. “You of all people should recognize that.” 

Five knew a threat when he heard one. He jumped a split second before the imposter sprang forward with a kitchen knife.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Later, Five would describe the event as an Act of God. It was Nature that compelled two doppelgangers to fight amongst themselves. It was Time itself, infecting their minds. 

But it was pure chance that the elder Five, of only three days, was the one to survive. 

As he looked upon his doppelganger’s corpse Five was struck by his own folly. 

“Now you’ve done it,” Five muttered. “You’ve killed yourself, you damn fool.” 

The Grandfather Paradox, the most infamous mistake a time traveler could make. Five stood alone in the bloodied bathroom and waited for the end of his own existence.

It was an end that never came. 

Tentatively, Five exited the bathroom. He returned to the dining room where his family was gathered and found them frozen in place. Some of them standing, some of them sitting, caught mid conversation.

Five’s gaze lingered on Klaus, who had been paused while chugging a bottle of scotch. 

Five sighed. “Well? Are you going to show yourself?” 

Herb stepped into the room with all the confidence of a third grader brought to the principal’s office. “Hi there. Long time no see, huh?” 

Five frowned at him. “It’s been about two months since I last saw you. Not so for you, I gather?”

“It’s been about a week for me,” Herb admitted. “But as soon as I saw what happened here I _knew_. I knew for certain!” 

“The Grandfather Paradox,” Five said. “It’s bullshit, isn’t it?”

“Exactly!” Herb giggled. “The evidence was staring me right in the face, but I didn’t want to believe it. Not at first. So we kept watching, me and Dot, but still you carried on without consequence!”

Five nodded tersly. “I see.” 

“I’ll tell ya, it hit me like a hammer blow,” Herb said, laughing at his own reference. “Like a _hammer blow,_ you get it?” 

Five didn’t have the patience for this. “Will you get to the point?” 

Herb lost his smile. “Well, I thought you might be willing to help us fix the timeline. See, we lost all our field agents. And in light of this… well, _this._ ” He gestured to the room at large.

Five knew what he meant. “Alright.” 

“Alright?”

“I’ll help,” Five said. “But you understand where my priorities lie?” 

“Of course!” Herb chuckled. “Your family will come out the other side alive and well. Your niece too.” 

Again, Five nodded. “Let’s go.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The second time Five killed his own doppelganger, it was no accident. Much like the other Five had done, Five cornered him while he was in the bathroom. Unlike his deceased double, Five wasted no time on conversation. 

He slit the doppel’s throat, then stowed him in the bathtub. 

Five took his time washing the blood from his hands. Then he straightened his tie, smoothed back his hair, and exited the bathroom. 

He was back on Sissy’s farm, just moments after the whole affair with Lila and the Handler. The latter was dead, the former escaped, and his family was preparing to return to 2019.

“Listen up.” It wasn’t always easy to get their attention, but today they were frazzled. They needed his direction. “We’re not going to 2019 yet.” 

“What do you mean?” Luther said. “You were just saying-”

“We just need to make a quick pit stop,” Five said. “We’re going to visit 1955. For a few minutes, that’s all. To let Herb and his people straighten some things out.” 

“Dude, Herb _just_ left,” Diego said. “He said we could use the briefcase to get back to the future.” 

"I know what he said," Five growled. "But Herb is an idiot." 

Five brandished a pneumatic tube, taking out the message Herb had sent him back with. 

"After he left, Herb realized his mistake and sent us instructions," Five explained. "I'm sure he's embarrassed about the slip up, but the man has spent years as a cog in the machine. He's not accustomed to thinking about the bigger picture." 

Allison took the slip of paper from him to read herself while Diego fumed, trying to read over her shoulder. 

Klaus yawned. "The future, the past, same difference at this point. Let's just _go."_

"It's not the same difference," Luther said. "1955? I don't get it." 

"It's only for a few minutes?" Vanya said. "Why can't we spend those minutes waiting here?" 

She was eager to get more time with Sissy, even an extra few minutes. 

Five sighed. "We can't spend them here. We need to go to 1955." 

"But-"

Five slammed his fist against the wall. "No buts! We're going." 

They were annoyed with him, but they went along. Five was grateful for that. 

At the Commission office, Herb was there to greet them. He laughed that nervous little laugh of his and shook their hands, apologizing for the "mix up" and holding their attention. 

Five, meanwhile, furtively slipped out of the room. 

He had five more trips to make.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A gun is clean. A gun is _humane_. The victim is dead before they know it. If you shoot them in the head, they'll have no time for pain or fear or regret. 

Klaus was first and Five couldn't help but wonder: Was there a version of Ben watching? What would he think of this cold hearted betrayal? 

"He was a doppelganger," Five said. "The real Klaus is fine. He's safe." 

_Ben won't believe you_ , Dolores said. 

_"You’ll destroy everything,"_ Ben had said. 

But that wasn't Ben either. 

Five shook his head. "I'll keep them safe," Five said. "And I'll fix you… I'll…" 

_Four more_ , Dolores said. 

"Right." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Vanya was about to get hit by a car. Instinctively, Five pulled her out of the way. 

"Five!" She hugged him. "I was so confused, I woke up _falling_ and-" She winced. "My ears won't stop ringing." 

The white suit she was wearing reminded him of _that day_ and Five winced too. "That'll wear off." 

She squeezed him more tightly and Five realized she was trembling. "I'm so sorry," she said. "God, I'm _so_ sorry." 

Ah. This Vanya had retained her memories.

"I'm sorry too," Five said. 

He shot her. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A part of him didn't believe it was possible. Familiar paranoia crept in and Five wondered if he had been tricked. Did Herb _really_ intend to preserve his family? Or did he believe the world was _meant_ to end, like the Handler had?

Would Five return only to discover his family was gone? 

But there they stood, gathered around the tiny man who now led the Commission. 

They were fine. 

They were alive. 

_You can calm down now_ , Dolores said. _You saved them._

"That remains to be seen," Five said. 

Allison glanced at him. "What does?" 

"The future," Five said. "Alright, is everybody ready?" 

Klaus sighed theatrically. "We done _been_ ready!" 

Herb smiled around at them. "It was great to meet you all," he said. "But if all goes well, you'll never see me again." 

Diego clapped Herb on the shoulder. "Keep it real, man." 

Five changed the date on the briefcase to April 1st, 2019. 

_Gather around, children._

"Gather around," Five said. "I mean, c'mon. Get closer." 

"We know the drill by now," Vanya laughed. 

They clustered together, holding hands for good measure, and Five opened the briefcase. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Academy had been returned to itself. On the mantle, a doppelganger smirked down at Five in sardonic congratulations. 

_You'll end the world one day,_ the doppel said. _Just watch, you'll destroy everything._

Luther startled Five with a hug. "We're finally home!"

Five teleported out of the hold and straightened his tie. "Yes," Five said. "We're home." 

He watched his siblings laugh and hug one another, watched Allison call her ex-husband to ask after her daughter, and then wandered outside. 

Ben's statue was broken. It was _still_ broken.

"We're home," Five repeated. "Almost all of us." 

_You'll save him too,_ Dolores said. _You've still got the briefcase._

"Of course," Five said. "But I'll have to be careful. The timeline is so fragile." 

_Time is on your side,_ Dolores said. _You can be methodical. Sketch out a probability map._

Five nodded tersely. "Time is on my side." 


End file.
